Talk English

The Sex of Flies
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with

a fly swatter.

"What are you doing? " She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any? " She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females, " he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. &...

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The Accident
The woman arrives at the hospital and asks:

-- I am John`s wife, he suffered an accident. How is he?

-- Well, from the waist down he didn`t suffer a scratch.

-- What a relief. And from the waist up?

-- I can`t say. They haven`t brought that part in yet.

relief - alívio
waist - cintura
bro...

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At The Hospital
-- Doctor, what have I got?

-- I don`t know yet, but we will find out in the autopsy.

Marriage
Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son

-- Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.

-- Son : "I will choose my own bride".

-- Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates`s daughter. "

-- Son : "Well, in that case. . . "

Next Jack approaches Bill Gates.

-- Jack: &q...

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The Checkup
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn`t been feeling well

and wants to find out if he`s ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out

with the results of the examination.

"I`m afraid I have some bad news. You`re dying and you don`t have much

time, " the doctor says.

"Oh no,...

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What is the difference between the suicide man and the virgin?

The suicide man Tries To Die, and the virgin Dies To Try! . . .

Magic

While on holiday in Las Vegas a couple went to see a magic show.
After one of the tricks the woman shouted out, "How did you do that?"

The magician replied, "I could tell you, madam, but if I did then
I would have to kill you."

The woman thought for a few seconds and then shouted back, "Okay,
then tel...

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Best worker

Two workers meet one day in the canteen at work. One says to the
other, "Have you heard the news? The Managing Director of the
company died at the weekend."

The other replies, "Yes, I know. But I want to know who died with him."

"What do you mean, 'who died with him'?" asks the first.
...

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Doctor and lawyer

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. As they talked
they were constantly interupted by people describing their health
problems and asking the doctor for medical advice.

After an hour of this the doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to
stop people asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"...

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